The whole world is caught up in the Olympics, as they should be, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that the vast majority of Olympic sports require great athletic skill and are really sports. Ice dancing? Not so much. We’re ok with that here at Heightsdeals, because we applaud all efforts by the international community to increase understanding and love and all that jazz. Heck, we’d even watch ice dancing if it brought world peace! The main goal of the Olympic Games, it seems, is to increase international understanding and communication. Here at Heightsdeals, we’re all about increasing understanding and facilitating communication. To do this, we carry a large range of phones and Bluetooth headsets which can diffuse even the worst situation. Check them out, and see what you can do to bridge gaps and repair relationships- remember, it only takes one good deed, one clear call, to change your world!
In just a few days baseball season will officially start when pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training. One of the most important aspects of the pitcher-catcher relationship is communication, i.e., do they have any? If the pitcher wants to throw a fastball high and away, and the catcher wants a slider down and in, and they can’t work it out… watch out, because you got a wild pitch or worse. Sometimes teams will have a catcher whose sole purpose in existence is to catch a specific pitcher’s pitches. Why are teams willing to pay hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars to a guy who only regularly plays once every five days, and doesn’t have nearly the effect of the pitcher? The answer, once again, is communication. When a pitcher feels that he can communicate with his catcher, that he has a catcher who understands him and knows what’s going on, then it’s worth it have a personal catcher.
Communication is important for people outside of baseball too. Even if you aren’t calling for knee-high curve balls or relying on your catcher to block your knuckle ball, you still need to maintain good and open lines of communication with the people most important to you. No one likes to give up the big home run, and if you can’t hear what the other person on the line is saying then you might as well not bother to even try to seal the deal with them. Just like in baseball, communication between regular people involves two players, two communicators who can say what’s necessary and accomplish the goals that have been set forth. In real life, this is best done by having clear lines and a willing spirit to do what it takes to get the job done. Another important aspect is the ability to do all this while you’re on the road, not allowing the home team’s fans to interfere with your ability to communicate well.
In layman’s terms, what I’m referring to is a brand new Motorola Bluetooth HX-1 Headset. With its amazing wind blocking abilities and superb noisy-environment-blocking capabilities, this headset will allow you to communicate at will, with no let or hindrance. It might look a little dorky to use it on the baseball field, but so do many catcher’s helmets, so I wouldn’t let that stop the good communication that’s bound to ensue.
Here on the East Coast it is once again snowing, prompting us to question the most basic tenets of our lives and wonder where we put our shovels. If you’re like me, then you’re really not such a big fan of leaving your warm house and going out into the cold misery that is 15 inches of white stuff. The good news is that you don’t have to leave your house to get a brand new cellphone! I know, you’re saying to yourself right now, “Cellphone? How is a cellphone going to help me with all this snow?” The answer to that very pertinent question is simple. Let’s say you’re stuck on the side of the road and there’s a raging blizzard- what are you going to do, flag down the non-existent cars whizzing by you and ask for a lift? Ha! What you need to do is flip your cellphone open and dial your local automotive repair shop, or even the police.
Another way cellphones are useful in winter is when you’re stuck at home, like right now, and you get hungry. Before you had a cellphone, the only thing to do was to open the fridge, discover you had no food, and starve. Or else you’d go outside to buy food and freeze. Either way, life was incredibly difficult and miserable.
The good news is, with a cellphone, you can order pizza! After all, if someone is going to have to travel in the inclement weather, at least it shouldn’t be you. Let the pizza guy do it- he’s getting paid. In fact, if you buy a cellphone from Heightsdeals.com, you’ll save so much money that you’ll be able to give him a nice tip too!
In just a few days it’ll be Valentines Day, and you know what that means- it’s time to buy your beloved something nice and shiny! The question is whether you should buy your beloved something that’s completely and utterly useless, or whether you should get them something that they’ll use every day for a long time. OK, correct you are that chocolate is not useless at all, in fact it’s quite the thing, but it also has a habit of disappearing rapidly and appearing several weeks later as an extra five pounds around the midsection. Jewelry is also not the world’s best option, because it’s not something that will be used every day for a long time. What’s left? Flowers won’t last a week, and a card is lucky to be magnetized to the fridge for more than a few weeks.
We come to the best option for you and yours- the cell phone. I know you’re thinking, “Huh, a cellphone? How is that going to help anyone? Do you really think my beloved will like this?” To answer the last question first, everyone knows that the best gift to give is one you’d like yourself. Doing this shows the giftee that you’re really giving of yourself, really sacrificing of what means most to you, truly experiencing the kind of cathartic moment that shows you’ve come from being the selfish animal you once were to the caring, giving creature you are today.
Wasn’t that beautiful? Your valentine will think so too. Getting her a new cellphone will enable her to check up on you more frequently, and you just know that’ll make her happy, which is of course the whole point. So, what are you waiting for? Go guy her a brand new cellphone from Heightsdeals.com!
With less than 300 shopping days until X-Mas, it’s time you started thinking about your giving for next year. Sure, it might be difficult to think of what you’re going to give, because most of the products you’ll be gifting to your friends and family haven’t even hit the stores yet, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t plan ahead. Some thing never change, no matter how much you believe in it, and it’s best to be prepared for these sorts of things and be able to get them safely out of your way so that you can focus on the important things. For example, you know that your aunt Betty is going to give you a highly fashionable sweater. Unfortunately, her idea of highly fashionable doesn’t encompass anything past 1986, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore the opportunity presented here. Instead of waiting another eleven months to write the trite thank you that aunt Betty normally receives, why not write it now, and, after consulting with your favorite actuary, xerox an appropriate number of copies?
Good idea, I know, but it’s a bit cynical, don’t you think? After all, you’re a savvy, discriminating person (as evidenced by your reading this here humble blog), and is it really befitting for you to go that route? I think not. Better yet would be a visionary approach that combined the kindness normally associated with holiday giving with keenness generally attributed to hedge fund managers who have a bad Friday morning hangover. I would suggest that you look into a gift that says, “Really, I care about you and the sweater you gave me, and I’m so happy with it, and I can’t wait to receive another, and by the way I’m sending this one to the starving children of sub-saharan Africa who I’ve heard are in great need of fiber.” Isn’t that beautiful and touching? Even better will be the gift accompanying this message- a brand new Motorola H17 Bluetooth Headset. Aunt Betty will really appreciate this present, because now she won’t get a crick in her neck when she’s knitting you that sweater and talking on the phone at the same time, and who knows, maybe she’ll even present you with some hip and stylish outerwear next x-mas! OK, that’s going a little far, but just think of the possibilities…
Last night’s State of the Union address revealed something that we had never seen before- a commitment by the president to work on a bipartisan solution to the United State’s debt issues. All right, so we’ve seen this before, but nothing’s ever come of it, so for all intensive purposes this is new. What does this mean for you? Frankly, it probably means nothing. What good will a debt commission do when it has no real mandate or power? Probably not much. The good news is, you can still get an awesome new cell phone without going into debt and without waiting 23.9 years (the average time it takes Washington to accomplish anything) for it to come. What kind of cellphone are we talking about? Good question. Let’s take a look, shall we?
The Motorola W270 is a slick looking clamshell that plays music with all the verve you’ve come to expect of the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra without all that bothersome going on strike and demanding higher pay. The only thing this phone will ever demand will be some more juice, though with standby time of 450 hours of standby time and 9 hours of yapping that shouldn’t be an issue.
If you’re less Mozart than Dwayne Wade, you need Dwayne Wade’s Sidekick 3, which is great for pretending you’re a basketball player and communicating with your friends. Ok, maybe it’s better at the latter than the former, but how can you resist the Sidekick 3’s good looks and realistic basketball-textured backing? Hmm?
Last but not least, we have the Blueant Q1 Bluetooth headset, which is the hottest thing this side of the iPad. Better too, because you can get one now, and it’s a heck of a lot cheaper too. Just imagine talking on a Q1- there are no words to describe the amazing feeling you’ll get, so I won’t even bother trying.
There you have it, three excellent proposals for making America great again. And making your life better. Because yes we can.
After Scott Brown’s shocking win last night in Massachusetts we here at HeightsDeals.com wanted to find a way to bring this country together again. It seems like healthcare isn’t going to do the trick, mainly because no one’s listened to our suggestions on the matter, but be that as it may, here at HeightsDeals.com we’re as public spirited as ever. In what other fashion could we possibly bring unity to this fractured amalgam of ours? How about through music? After all, music is to soothing the savages what airplanes are to transportation- extremely effective and not overly expensive. So how about it then? Let’s see what this future perfect might be like:
“Hey John, that’s a great phone you have there. It plays music so well and looks nice too.”
“Well Smithers, it is a great phone, but so is yours! It also plays music well, and also has a superior outward appearance.”
“Yes John, ever since we bought these cellphones from HeightsDeals.com we’ve been so very happy, and so is everyone around us!”
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Wasn’t that beautiful? Just think of all the tremendous accomplishments that music has to its credit for the the last three thousand years or so, and imagine those effects multiplied by billions. With just a little bit of effort we could bring global peace in a way that James Cameron could only dream of. Best of all, instead of costing trillions of dollars, this plan would only require a modest investment of about sixty dollars per person, which in my opinion is well worth the cost. With every person rocking to their own tunes, no one would be jealous, no one would be hungry, no one would be anything but completely satisfied and content. Sounds a little socialist for all the right-wingers in this country to get behind? Obviously they haven’t heard the sublime brilliance of a well played Bach concerto.
Perhaps they’re right, these conservative tea drinkers. Perhaps there is a better way to bring this country together. What could be a better method than music? How about the promise of opportunity that is the internet? Let’s listen in to another conversation between John and Smithers:
“Hey John, what a remarkable new phone you have there. It surfs the net like it was born in Hawaii, and its messaging capabilities are unmatched. With a phone like that, you can really spread messages of peace and goodwill to all the world!”
“Well Smithers, I appreciate that you like this phone, but the truth is that your new phone is as much a game changer as mine. With those lightning-quick 3G speeds and that full Qwerty keyboard, your phone is truly equipped to be the new version of the United Nations security forces, but this time it’ll actually, bringing prosperity and capitalist ideals to everyone the world over.”
“John, truer words have never been spoken. If only everyone followed our lead and moseyed on down to HeightsDeals.com and did their part to save the world, there’d be no more car bombings or whatever. Even religious fundamentalists the world over can use technology to plan to their prayer meetings or whatever it is that religious fundamentalists do, and no one has to get hurt.”
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Wishful thinking? Perhaps. After all, if music can’t save the world, who says the internet can? Good thing all four phones featured here have both excellent music and internet capabilities-the perfect combination to finally rid the world of all that ails it, and a great deal too!
Dear Heightsdeals.com,
I’m looking for a solution to a slight problem I’m having right now. Basically, my pet goldfish died, and I don’t know what to do. It’s really sad, because I loved my pet goldfish like a brother, and now I just don’t know what to do! I remember all the good times, when we used to just sit there and stare at each other. I remember nursing him back to health when he was sick, pouring just a drop of chicken soup into his fishbowl to ensure he’d get better. Unfortunately though, this only lead to his death, as the hot soup scalded him. I immediately pulled him out and put on first aid cream, but I guess it was too late, and I was left bereft of my only friend. What shall I do?
Sincerely,
Johnson
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Dear Johnson,
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your fish; I’ve had pets myself, and I know how attached people get to the little critters. Might I suggest you go for a new pet that requires a little less personal love and care? The LG CU920 Vu has this really cool feature that allows you to have a fish on your front screen. You can play with this fish and everything, and it’ll never even get sick! Probably a good thing, because cellphones appreciate chicken soup even less than goldfish.
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Dear Heightsdeals.com
Two weeks ago I got ripped off resigning with one of the big cellphone companies, and now I don’t know what to do. I wanted a cool new phone, so I spent all my money on yet another two year plan, plus I had to pay big bucks for the cellphone. The customer service is terrible, and I feel confused, frustrated, and lonely. Whatever shall I do?
Sincerely,
Carl
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Deal Carl,
Here at Heightsdeals.com we hear many heartbreaking stories like your own. The saddest is when, as in your case, the customer reups with his phone company- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on who? Don’t worry though, there’s no need to panic. Most of the major carriers have thirty day money back guarantees, and once you’re rid of the waste you can move on to bigger and greater things, like a brand new unlocked cell phone which you can use with many different cell companies. Might I suggest the MotoRoker EM30? You’ll be able to listen to all your favorite music and call your friends to let them know how much you’re enjoying your new phone. Best of all, you’ll be emboldening freedom-seekers around the world and striking a blow for justice and opportunity. Sounds noble and far-fetched? Perhaps, but for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and with your help we can bring redemption to the world’s repressed cellphone using millions.
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Dear Heightsdeals.com,
I haven’t had a big break in a long time. Everywhere I turn I’m besieged my doubts. Can I do succeed, can I make a way for myself in life, can I truly live up to my great potential? I just don’t know what to do. Please help.
Sincerely,
Eli
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Dear Eli,
You sound a bit depressed, which is understandable, because you obviously haven’t had any reason to be happy lately. It’s been two and a half weeks since New Years, and even longer since you played in a meaningful football game. Whether it was your supporting cast or your leg that let you down, it’s now time for a change. Change is good. Change can help you. All right, a new defensive coordinator probably won’t do much to help your people catch the balls they’re currently dropping, but perhaps we can help them. After all, what’s the real issue here? Communication, or lack thereof. The receivers just aren’t feeling your vibes, and they’re not catching your balls. Or maybe the issue is that your overthrowing. Or that your best receiver is in jail. Maybe. If the issue is the lack of communication, then we have just the thing for you- a brand new Sidekick LX. You can call or text or chat down field and finally start throwing some touchdowns.
There’s been a lot of talk lately about health care in these United States. There’s been much debate about public options, death panels, and Nancy Pelosi, but there’s been one issue that seems not to have been addressed. This issue is preventative health, and I have a stunning solution that’ll keep you out of hospital rooms and in the brightest bloom of health for years to come.
First let’s examine what the core issue is: happiness, or lack thereof. You may not know it, but very few people in this world are immortal. In fact, the numbers are so small as to be inconsequential. The vast majority of people will die one day. Scary, but true. What’s the solution to this? I don’t think there is one. People will just go on being born and dying, and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. So what’s the whole issue with health care? After all, if everyone is just going to die anyway, who cares if they do it half an hour earlier or later? Obviously there must be more to do it than that. The answer is, as I wrote earlier, happiness. People want good health care because they’re happy with life, and they want it to continue. Or maybe they want good health care because they have a terrible life and they think it’ll get better if they have good health care. See how complicated it is? If bloggers have a difficult time coming to grips with the issue, imagine how difficult it must be for members of congress, who are too busy wasting the public’s money (actually, at this point it’s China’s money) to ever use their brains, to comprehend it. Especially when the bill is over 1,500 pages long, and most of these people can barely read enough to figure out if the soda they’re getting from the congressional cafeteria is diet or regular.
Be that as it may, the goal of health care is for the person undergoing treatment to be happier coming out than they were coming in. The goal of truly excellent health care is to make the person coming in so happy that they don’t even have to get any health care treatment. How is this to be accomplished? Very simple: make people happy. Obviously.
How to make people happy? Not so easy as all that, because of course there are different sorts of people and they get happy from different sorts of things. Some people become happy from feeling fulfilled, and others think this is a load of codswallop. Some people are happy when they see other people suffer, and some people are happy when these types of people are suffering themselves. Evidently, it’s difficult to make everybody happy all the time. Still, we could try our best, which is all that can really be asked of us. How to make the largest amount of people happy with the least amount of trouble? The answer is…
Cellphones!
That’s right. Sure, some people don’t like cellphones, and some other people think that true happiness comes from inner peace, but they’re a minority of people. Most everyone else would be much happier with a new cellphone (or even a cellphone accessory, we’re not picky), and think of the benefits to society- shorter lines in the emergency room, less people crowding our cemeteries, and global peace and glory descending on humanity. All from a simple cellphone. Remarkable? I’ll let you decide that.
Idaho, like many states in this glorious country that is called home by millions upon millions of Americans, has much to celebrate. Potatoes are great, sure, but what’s really amazing is that they went 2-0 in Bowl games this season. How many other states can say this? Granted, states aren’t verbal (and don’t even go into that whole “states of mind” thing), but perhaps their governors, or even their admirals, could do a good job. What are those other states’ representatives saying? Let’s take a quick listen, shall we?
Texas Governor Rick Perry:
TCU? Huh? Do you know how many teams we had make bowls this year? Do you know how many bowl games we host in this great state? Do you know how many congress people we have who call Texas home?
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Former VP and Savior of the World® Al Gore:
Tennessee? Let me right a poem about that.
Three presidential elections in a row
we have lost.
what have we become?
a state with too much hot air?
destroy the grand ‘ol!
and give me money.
and go Vols, not ‘ols.
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Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty:
Snowmobiling in July? We may not have that, but we have plenty of other things to keep you happy. Don’t believe me? Come visit and see for yourself! Oh, you were asking about bowl games? Here in Minnesota we don’t believe in playing football to win- we believe in trying hard and having a good time doing it.
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After that fascinating little diversionary listen to some of our nation’s leading characters, it’s probably time to give the leader of Idaho, Clement Leroy “Butch” Otter, a chance to speak his mind. In fact. I’d give him a chance to exercise his pen as well, but last time that didn’t happen until the 20th of January, which sort of destroys the point of making January into BOISE STATE UNIVERSITY BRONCOS FOOTBALL MONTH, no? Wouldn’t February have done just as nicely? Hey, you would have gotten a whole ‘nother week’s worth of celebration, eh? Regardless, here’s what the governor is saying today:
Congratulations to the football team from Boise State after their scintillating win over that school from Fort Worth. Just because I’m a Catholic doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Really. I mean, I don’t like them, but not because I’m a Catholic and they’re not. Really. I’m very tolerant. Congratulations to the Idaho Vandals for winning the bowl game in Boise. See? I am tolerant.
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What does all this mean for you people, citizens and non-citizens alike, of this great country, this foundry of greatness and forge of brilliance, this birthplace of independence and cradle of contemporariness? I’ll tell you what. It means that you should-nay, you must- do something right now about the ever-increasing lack of cellphone coverage in this great country of ours. Did you know that currently this country does not provide for newborns to be equipped with cellphones? Is this not the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of? I’m truly shocked that not a single political action committee has taken it upon themselves to solve this astounding issue. Just think of those thousands of children being born every day who don’t have the kind of wireless coverage that you enjoy. Sad? Yes. Irreparable? Not at all. You can help solve this problem, and I’ll tell you how. I’ll also tell you what connection this has to the Fiesta Bowl if you’re patient.
The easiest way to solve this problem would be for everyone reading this post (I mean you) to click a couple times and buy a phone for every child born in the local hospital of your choice. It doesn’t have to be an expensive phone, but you should know that the better the phone you get for the child now, the better you’ll be doing for that child in the future. Why? Very simple. When you give a baby a silver spoon, the baby naturally gets used to having a silver spoon, and consequently will do whatever necessary to preserve that state for its natural life. What this means for the average American consumer is that, once again, Reaganomics will win the day, as these super-babes will grow into some of the greatest money making machines that the world has ever witnessed. Provide every single baby with a decent cell phone and you’ve prepared this, our great land from sea to shining (toxic waste?) sea, for a more superb generation than could have ever possibly be imagined. What I want from you, my friends, is to give me your tired, your poor, your hungering millions yearning to be free, and to transform them into the most productive and well-groomed (not to mention literate and cell phone savvy) epoch that the universe has ever known. All this from a simple cellphone? Friends, we are literally saving lives here.
The only remaining question is how this relates to Boise State. Well, it’s simple. Essentially, Boise State’s raison d’être is as an educational institute, which means that, contrary to popular opinion, their goal is not to win football games (though that is indeed a worthy goal, and a fully justifiable one for teams in the National Football League), but rather to shape young minds and to help them reach the true heights that only a cellphone-aided childhood can provide them for. In short, it is Boise State’s obligation to further this goal in every way they can. If this means taking resources away from their (admittedly excellent) football department, then so be it. This mission is one that is too big to fail, one that is too important to mess up.
